Yesterday Husband dropped our Son and his Grandparents at the airport. They are heading off to Spain for a short break visiting Grumps (My Grandfather, Son’s Great Grandfather).
I said my goodbyes to our exhausted and sleeping boy and stayed at the house to avoid the teary farewell at the security gate which would only cause my Son anxiety.
I spend the rest of the day wracked with guilt about sending him away without us, weepily checking the flight status with a sense of constant discomfort desperate to know the plan has landed safe and sound.
My perspective yesterday was one of abandonment and selfishness. I had sent my child away.
The reality is that I planned to go out with them but with a new job starting on Friday I had no annual leave left with my current employer.
The reality is that I planned to go with them but a very sudden change of luck meant we moved into our new house this month and our funds are now depleted.
The reality is that working under the “if I can’t go, he can’t go” mentality is what is truly selfish. My role as a parent is to provide opportunity. My Son is enjoying quality time with his grandparents, having new experiences, trying new foods and meeting new people.
That is the perspective I have to keep hold of while he is away. He has not been sent away. He has been given the opportunity for an adventure.